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Kelly's Fun Stuff
kmckay@Z995.com
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Shepard Smith
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Friend of the show Shepard Smith of Fox News Channel has a slip of the tongue.
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Worst...Parents..Ever!
Parents who let their kids not only grow mullets, but win MULLET CONTESTS need a "talking to!" This boy was the winner of the 2008 Minnesota Mullet Contest.
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Don't Press the "FIRE" Button!
This guy pressed the "FIRE" button at a gas station.
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Hillary Clinton getting her "drink on!"
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Kelly McKay's MOTIVATIONAL POSTERS!
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Where do the single people live in the USA?
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Kelly McKay
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Hammer
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Mindy Winkler
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Mindy's husband in a very masculine "Cone Costume."
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Butt Implants Gone Bad!
Not sure which is funnier, the news anchor trying not to laugh or the saggy implants shown on this gals rear.
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STOP LAUGHING!
The annual Japan Fertility Festival took place in March. The festival of phalic symbols teaches fertility lessons and celebrates fertility.
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What do you think this 'Stache smells like?
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John Mayer rocks out his "Borat" thong!
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Best...Photo...EVER!
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Kelly's "LIFE THREATENING" paper cut: Kelly complained for 3 whole days due to this small cut.
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Kelly McKay's "Real" Valentine's Day Cards
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FORM LETTER FOR DUMPING A GUY:
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Dear _______________,
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut.
I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening come available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition:
(Check those that apply)
1. ___Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.
2. ___Your first name is objectionable. It's just not something I can picture myself yelling out in a fit of passion.
3. ___The fact that our first dining experience to date has left MY wallet a little lighter, and YOUR pants a little tighter!
4. ___Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms by the truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.
5. ___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me more than one about myself.
6. ___Your constant emailing, shows me you have way too much time on your hands!
7. ___Your legs are skinnier than mine. If you can FIT into my pants, then you can't GET into my pants.
8. ___You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be beaten up repeatedly at recess.
9. ___You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck condition from trying to kiss you.
10. ___You have a hairy back.
11. ___I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.
12. ___The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.
13. ___The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.
14. ___You still live with your parents.
15. ___Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Star Trek uniforms a little disconcerting.
16. ___Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to suspect that you are some sort of psychotic stalker.
17. ___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am seeking in a long term partner.
18. ___Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should, however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please resubmit your application.
19. ___Somehow I doubt those condoms that I found in your overnight bag were really necessary for a successful business trip.
20. ___I am out of your league; set your sights lower next time.
Sincerely, _________________________________
(submitted by listener Rachel) |
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Bad Santa with Kelly at the Music Mill
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| Hammer's dream girl is Kelly's cousin! Tiffani Theissen (AKA: Kelly Kapowski from "Saved by the Bell") gave Hammer a signed photo! It is hanging above his bed! See the pics below..... |
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Chippendales World Record
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Smokin' hot Chippendales dancer Brandon Pereyda succeeded in breaking the Guinness world record for the most vertical "roll-downs" on aerial silks. Who knew there was even a record? If ever there were a guy for the job, it's Brandon.
With a total of 13 rolls in one minute, Brandon rolled his way into the next Guinness Book of World Records, becoming the first Chippendale to break a record. These boys are usually more acquainted with breaking hearts.
Brandon and the Chippendales perform nightly at the Rio in Las Vegas.
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Sadly, quite accurate!
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The Kelly McKay Afternoon Show Thanksgiving Recipes
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Kelly McKay: "Kelly's Cranberry Sauce"
-1 shot of vodka, 2 shots of cranberry juice, a splash of Grand Mariner and a lime.
Mindy Winkler: "Low-fat pumpkin pie mousse"
It's easy and it's way yummy.
-1 reduced-fat graham cracker pie crust2 cups skim milk1 cup canned pumpkin puree1 package sugar-free instant vanilla pudding mix1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice1 container fat-free or lite whipped topping, thawed, divided
Combine milk, pumpkin, pudding mix and spice in a mixing bowl. Beat with electric mixer until smooth. Fold in one half of the whipped topping. Spoon contents evenly into the graham-cracker pie crust. Top with remaining whipped topping. Freeze or refrigerate at least 2 hours before serving.
Hammer: "W.A.D" (Weapons of Ass Destruction)
It's a bit gassy but good. Firecrackers and Deviled Eggs chased with a liter of Colt 45.
-Firecrackers: 1 package of Budding Beef, 8-10 green onions, 1 small package of cream cheese. Take 1 slice of beef and spread cream cheese on it. Wrap that around end of onion.
-Deviled eggs: Boil eggs for 5 minutes, peel off shell, cut eggs in half and put the yolk in a bowl. Then add mayo and mustard with 1 tsp of sugar and salt and pepper for taste. Use a spoon to put your mixture into the eggs. Drink the Colt 45 right after and be sure to have air freshener near.
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This should be on a T-Shirt!
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Producer Hammer's offspring: The foul-mouthed "Booger" and baby brother "McLovin"
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| Patriots QB Tom Brady is really a Colts fan! |
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Producer Hammer after hosting the "Circle City Showcase" fashion show. (Pic by Chris Pickrell)
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| Good to see former Pacer Stephen Jackson has gotten things figured out. Check out his new tattoo of Jesus' hands holding a gun! Classy! |
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Chris Farley reincarnated as a little girl
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The Redneck Time-Out!
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The TOP 10 Things Men Do To Annoy Women!
(According to Kelly McKay)
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10.) Pass gas in bed, and think it's funny.
9.) Never pick up after themselves, unless asked.
8.) WHEN asked to do something, they wait until they are darn good and ready to do it, instead of doing it when we want it done.
7.) Normally skip bathing and shaving, on the weekends, unless they want nookie. How obvious!
6.) Brushing their teeth twice a day, every day, would never occur to them.
5.) They rarely do little things for us...just because. Like surprising us with flowers, or cooking dinner.
4.) On birthdays and holidays; they run to the store, for an obvious last minute gift, then act like they remembered the whole time!
3.) They assume that the TV and the remote are theirs, and we're just borrowing them.
2.) They're always the ones who are stressed, and tired, and overwhelmed. WE never do anything to actually be tired and need a break.
1.) THEY NEVER LISTEN! |
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