KIM KARDASHIAN hosted “Saturday Night Live” this weekend, and she actually did a good job. Especially when she was tearing apart her own family. Which she started doing right off the bat with her monologue.
Here were the big jabs . . .
1. “When they asked I was like, ‘You want me to host? Why?’ I haven’t had a movie premiere in a really long time. I mean actually, I only had that one movie come out, and no one told me it was even premiering.
“It must have slipped my mom’s mind.”
2. “I’m excited to be here tonight to show you guys that I’m so much more than just a pretty face, and good hair, and great makeup, and amazing boobs, and a perfect butt.
“Basically, I’m just so much more than that reference photo my sisters showed their plastic surgeons.
3. “The one thing I’m really proud of is that no one could ever call me a gold digger. Honestly, I’m not even sure how you become one. So I asked my mom’s boyfriend Corey.”
4. “My father was and still is such an influence and inspiration to me . . . It’s because of him that I met my first black person. Wanna take a STAB in the dark at who it was?
I know it’s sort of weird to remember the first black person you met. But O.J. does leave a mark. Or several. Or none at all. I still don’t know.”
5. “With all of the ‘K’ names [in our family] it’s really impressive that my mom didn’t pick ‘Karen’. I mean, somehow she just knew. I don’t know how she saw that one coming and not Caitlyn.”
6. “I’m not running for president. We can’t have three failed politicians in one family.”
7. “I married the best rapper of all time. Not only that, he’s the richest black man in America; a talented, legit genius who gave me four incredible kids. So when I divorced him you have to know it came down to just one thing: his personality.”
(You can watch the whole thing here.)
Kim also did a “Bachelor” spoof called “The Dream Guy” with celebrity cameos by John Cena, Chris Rock, NBA star Blake Griffin, Jesse Williams, Chace Crawford, Tyler Cameron, and Amy Schumer.