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Author Archives: wpfaffenberger

The 5 Minute Rule…

The 5 Minute Rule…

…is bullshit.  I’ve watched my daughter joyfully eat old stuff off our floor that had been there for who knows how long.  Based on her enthusiasm, you could enjoy a treat off the floor for up to 36 hours later.MORE

They Say Sex…

They Say Sex…

…is the highest and most beautiful expression of love between two consenting and committed partners, but I think it’s if your partner remembers to brings snacks for afterwards.MORE

You Can’t Trust…

You Can’t Trust…

…your new bidet 100%.  You need to check with TP at least a little bit.  Trust me.MORE

I Would Like…

I Would Like…

…an adult sized dress shirt that buttoned in the crotch like a baby onesie to help keep it tucked in while I’m drunk dancing at formal events.MORE

Is It Weird That…

Is It Weird That…

…we’d throw away a bag of marshmallows if they were all super hard, unless they were in Lucky Charms.  MORE

Uh-oh, Smaller Ding-Dongs…

Uh-oh, Smaller Ding-Dongs…

          Environmental scientists say that a chemical used in plastics manufacturing is causing babies to be born with smaller penises. “But! toy truck and gun sales are through the roof,” says one consumer reports expert. https://news.sky.com/story/human-penises-are-shrinking-because-of-pollution-warns-scientist-12255106?fbclid=IwAR1MjhaGLa509EMVxLMpMUq_ilJ9pXF5fI3ogKAAXOPwJp37sHqEI2LOiRIMORE

Producer Will’s Distraction! Podcast – Episode 26 (Party Balloons)

Producer Will’s Distraction! Podcast – Episode 26 (Party Balloons)

          https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/distraction/id1530188867 In episode 26, Will tries to teach you about the history and origins of rubber party balloons, but not without being sidetracked by a bunch of uninvited idiots. Performers: Aaron Stillerman, Taylor Daine, and Tim Harrison. Accompanied by Paige Scott.MORE

Mr. Potato Head Now Gender Neutral

Mr. Potato Head Now Gender Neutral

Hasbro announced Mr. Potato Head will go gender neutral and is now just called “Potato Head.” Finishing the press conference with the new tag line, one executive exclaimed, “The only thing better than getting Potato Head is giving Potato Head!” Followed immediately by, “Nope, now I hear it. We’ll change that.” – Producer WillMORE

Will’s Distraction Podcast:  Episode 25:  Marshmallows!

Will’s Distraction Podcast: Episode 25: Marshmallows!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/distraction/id1530188867 CLICK LINK TO SUBSCRIBE AND LISTEN! In episode 25, Will tries to teach you about the history and origins of marshmallows, but not without being sidetracked by a bunch of uninvited idiots. Performers: Aaron Stillerman, Matt Kerkhoff, Holly Brooke, and Steven Finch. Accompanied by Paige Scott. An improv comedy podcast where your host, Will,…MORE

Half Male Half Female Bird

Half Male Half Female Bird

This week, a long-time birdwatcher in Pennsylvania spotted a very rare, once-in-a-lifetime half-male, half-female cardinal: a scientific wonder of nature. The birdwatcher said he could tell it was both a man and a woman because all it did was argue with itself about where to go for dinner. – Producer WillMORE